CharmedAngel's Site

random rambling

2010-08-28T01:43:00.003+08:00

Seems like forever since the last time I blogged... In the wee small hours of the morning I shall write something.

It's amazing how one person can change you in a good way. It's a big step to listen to that person and really try to change for the better. But then knowing that you have this support system makes things easier... it makes thing hard when the support system isn't around to remind you not to be so negative and focus on the past too much. Hahaha, but still, I guess you have to remind yourself you are changing for the better.

Listening to Jazz early in the morning... quiet, calm, relaxed... I can really fall asleep while listening to Frank Sinatra singing, thinking about nothing bad and everything good. No dreams though, dreams mean your brain is still working while you're sleeping. How totally bad is that? No rest at all!

I have no idea what I'm rambling about, could be the time. This week really crawls by slowly, almost bringing me to tears with the slow pace. Slow is fine, slow is alright in Boston, that's the pace of lifestyle, not TIME! When time is slow, it's terrible... like everythng's moving in slow-mo, making u drag your feet more, dreading the up-coming time more. Sometimes I like fast time, time flies and you enjoy yourself. When you feel like time's crawling, it means you're not busy enough...

Ironic. We want our life to move on a slower pace, but we don't want a slower time! Interesting. We want time to fly but we don't want a hectic life. Awesome. It can be achieved..... as long as time don't crawl and stress isn't cramping our life.

packing and unpacking?

2010-07-13T11:13:00.002+08:00

Finished packing 1 luggage (may add in a few more clothes)... Phew! No overweight.. but I'm a little worried about my mugs, kettle chips, coffee powder, wallets and my perfume... I have the urge to put perfume and my wallets into my handcarry, plus the mugs... If my handcarry isn't that heavy, I might just do that... Peace of mind.

Looking forward to going home, and unpacking! Hahaha, gosh I still have things to buy, hopefully they all can squeeze into my luggages. May have to pack again, AGAIN! =.= Kinda tired of packing already, hahahahaha....

I miss you so much~~~~~~ When you're so far away from me

2010-07-10T11:17:00.003+08:00

"Darling, je vous aime beaucoup"

Hearing your voice singing to me such a romantic song was an amazing feeling and sweet... I'll never get tired of your voice, the little surprises and whole lotta loves :)

2010-07-09T02:21:00.001+08:00

It was nice to have fathers be guest speakers in our class.. Allow us to know things from Father's perspective - As fathers, as men, as husbands. It was a great discussion session. :)

boston

2010-06-20T10:18:00.002+08:00

Boston was fun... and sunny. Can't do without a sunglass.. It's a MUST, if not you can't see where you're going when the sun is directly in your eyes.

A lot of walking around, it definately is a "walkable" city.. we can burn off all the fats and calories we put on from the food.

Food... everything here is CHEESE CHEESE CHEESE. Even a cheese lover like me find it overwhelming... Noodles come in cheese, pasta comes in cheese, chips, hotdogs, sandwiches, pizzas, rice... Oh gosh! Hahahahahahaha~~~ :D

It was more like a shopping spree than a study trip for this few days. That's gonna change for the next few weeks when school officially begins. I can't believe I actually shopped like this and bought alot of stuff around. Well.. at least now I can throw away the old clothes as I buy the new ones :p

Skyped with the entire family, almost, early in the morning at 6+am (their 6+pm). It was a great start to my day, to hear their voices on skype and save the $ to buy a calling card, which I still don't get how it works. I have auto roaming, so just sms... Not gonna call. Dad sorta expected I'll use my phone that's y he applied that for me in the first place way before my trip. So it's fine.

Tired from the whole day... A lot of new experiences... Orientation, rooming with my friend, hanging out together for SHOPPING, getting lost in Boston, taking the T around Boston, being asked for directions by a group of ppl, visiting the school, eating the SUPER DUPER BIG portion of food, and just being a Bostonian ^_^

camp

2010-06-04T18:35:00.003+08:00

Flour and Water seems to be a tradition for camps?!?! Hahahaha, it was quite fun to play with flour and water, though it gets messy and irritated, but it's fun...

Sec 1 camp: Putting water on your face and blowing out a pingpong ball from a tray of flour.

Pre-Boston camp: Fill up a 1 litre bottle with your body parts & search for sweets in a tray of flour using only parts of your face.

The camp was pretty nice, and it's rather fun to live in the school with your travelling group... More civilized than camping in Pulah Ubin, but that was fun too :p

Can't wait for Boston, officially we have 12 days till we F.L.Y! ^_^

results

2010-05-27T22:02:00.002+08:00

I finally know how to felt like when all your hard work get thrown back at your face and hit you hard. It was a good Semester, and alot of high hopes. 1 module is all it takes to pull everything down with it.

The importance of 1 module...... Sigh. At that moment when you saw the results, you feel sad, angry, pissed, disappointed, even wanted to curse and swear(or did). Then comes the night... How it cleared your mind and make things more clearer to really think it, deep. It's not completely the lecturer's fault that things turned out like that, partly it's out fault as well. I must be crazy to say that, must be. Confirmed. Affirmative.

Still......... it really disappoints me that what I wanted to achieve this Semester was all gone because of the credits from 1 module. Just 1 is all it takes to pull every other 5 modules down with it. The power of 1. SHEESH! But what's done is done, can't change it, can't undo it. I expect things will STILL be the same even if I turn back the time.

It's the 1st time I let a grade affect me so much that I BLOG about it. Probably because I had high hopes. It's like what others say, "The more you hope, the more disappointed you'll get when you don't get what you hope for." Or is it "Bring your hopes up too high, when it falls it really falls hard." Either way, that's how I feel.

random post

2010-05-17T22:27:00.002+08:00

Numb3rs was great, and realized that I've watched about 10mins of it before on Channel 5, not knowing that it was Numb3rs that I was watching. I switched if off =X It was very different from CSI and Criminal Minds, it's kind of interesting to see Math (something that doesn't hold my interest), be used in a crime solving team which, ironically holds my interests and more! :p

***

Prior knowledge of being cheated and hurt by someone for years allows that person (the vic) to be blinded for life... It's a terrible thing to cheat and hurt, but it's part and parcel of life. So if I ever get in situations like this, I would want to escape to some deserted island, sipping soda, lying on the hammock gazing up at the stars, or watch the sunrise/sunset, with company, that'll be nice. :)

It made me think how easily people can be blinded because of what they have been through, went through... that after the years they are so blinded that they can no longer differentiate between the right and wrong. One will automatically take side of someone whom they don't know, just because the other party made them lost the trust. Even if that stranger is in the wrong, one will still think she is right. What in the world is this world coming to? Is it such a forceful impact that causes one to lost even one's right of judgement, one's thinking, one's sense of right and wrong??? I truly wonders.

***

A brick wall that was built over time due to multiple reasons. How to get rid of the wall? I have no idea. Sad thing was one knew how that wall was there, but there's simply no way to talk about it to demolish that wall without getting emotional. Because of the wall, it makes communication difficult, one can no longer look at the other party with the same attitude as in the past. Most still remains, but some things changed. It can never be how it used to be. People grow up, people change, can't expect every single thing to stay the same forever. Some things may stay the same, some may change. It's the course of how the world works. We gain some, we lose some; we love some, we hate some; we have some, we don't have some.

Jazz and thoughts

2010-05-16T00:46:00.002+08:00

Jazz softly played on my computer, the soft glow from the computer screen, a dim light on my cupboard, the humming of the fan and the company of a few bright stars in the clear night sky... Beautiful night~

Yet there is a sense of loneliness... Jazz songs can be romantic or orgasmic (as told by a friend), it sure brings different emotions to when you listen, where you listen and who you listen with.

Then the thought that Sunday has arrived drifted into my mind when I glanced at the desktop calendar, and my weekend is about gone. Yikes. How time flies :(

If time could stand still or just slow down during the weekends, that'll be lovely.

deep thoughts

2010-05-07T20:35:00.004+08:00

The thinker in me surfaced yet again in the lonely nights and days.. Pondering over millions of things, people. Simple things such as a hug, a night sky, fluffy white clouds or even the a recipe can make my thoughts link from A to Z and all over the place. Visited blogs from my list, and re read some of my previous posts, and once again the word "relationship" pops into view and floats into mind. The thinker in me took over......... feeling a sense of melancholy, but no depression.

Relationships end in many ways and due to many reasons. I never knew these reasons, I've only heard or seen as an observer. There can be countless reasons ranging from sadness to anger to hatred. Now I finally felt it personally. There's no happy ending to an end of a relationship, of any kind: Friendship or courtship.

One of the reasons for an ending is: Pain. The pain to know that what you want you will never get, the pain of knowing that letting go is the best choice for the other party, the pain of seeing what could have been and might have been knowing that it will never be, the pain of endless, countless, sleepless nights, the pain of enduring lonely times, the pain of seeing affection and love between strangers and feeling the same way but alone. The pain of knowing you haven't tried hard enough, the pain of saying "I can't take it anymore", the pain of imaging the possible outcomes when they can only be fantasy but not reality, the pain of seeing that person laugh and cry yet you can't be there to hug and kiss to share or make them all away. The pain of knowing that it could forever be like this. Pain... it ended relationships silently. It kills away the bond, slicing it bit by bit regardless of the laughter and love.

Yet among the pain, there is laughter and love. Love of the other person. You feel the pain because you love that someone, so dear and so true. You feel the pain because you had laughed with that someone through good and bad, happy and sad.

I've heard saying that 2 people who have truly loved each other can never be just friends when they crossed beyond the "friendship" and turned it into "courtship". Some may say it's possible but it's very difficult, some may agree that it's impossible. I happen to be the one that falls in the 2nd category. To me, you have loved that someone so deeply, and to end the relationship to once again become friends, there would be a sense of melancholy between, even if it is possible. Things can't go back the way they used to, the memories of being in love will always be around.

Knowing this, I find myself smiling... To know that you have loved someone deeply and have been loved back. Letting go was a choice made because of the pain, and no contact was because there had been love. Though such relationship has ended, but it ended with no regrets of loving whole-heartedly. The only regret was to choose to end it.

But sometimes, regardless of how powerful love is, some choices are beyond our control. Sad but true. But why dwell in the "what might have been/could have been" and feel sad, when we could look back at the fond memories and feel contented that they will forever be part of our life, our memory, and last as long as we shall live.

2010-05-06T23:34:00.003+08:00

If my life were like the clear blue sky, you would be the clouds.
Pieces of you etched across my life, so clear and distinct.
Sometimes it may be blurred, or float to disappear,
But they would always be part of my life for me to see.
It may be invisible to the naked eyes, but I'll always know.
Part of you has been part of me, and they forever will.

You're just like the clouds in the sky, so near yet so far.
I see you with my eyes, but I can't hold you in my arms.
You roam free from inhibitions, from the shackles of life.
Looking down from above, always far yet always near.

Gazing up the afternoon sky with the lazy drift of the clouds,
My mind turns blank and so does my heart.
Things seem to move in slow motion and nothing ever matters,
Not even the music in my ears or the gravel on the road.
Just watching the clouds slowly drift away from the cluster made me wish I could be like them.
Drifting high up in the sky watching over you and will always do and always will.

I wish I could be like the clouds, roam free from everything.
Be part of the sky, but never be one with it.
Just like how you are part of my life, but will never be one with it.
That's how we have been and how we will be, sadly but it's true.

Not a poem, just thoughts from my mind during my bus ride to the US Embassy...... I've let go, we've talked, we agreed. And suddenly a heavy tension lifted from my heart. :)

Random

2010-05-01T11:37:00.002+08:00

Haven't been blogging... So here's something random.

I'm so addicted to WoW. There's a period of time where it was so slow that I wanted to stop playing... But then somehow or rather the more I play the more levels I upped and the more excited I became. Now I'm level 57, with about 10% to level 58.. Woohoo~ 2 more levels and I can enter the Burning Crusade key code ^_^

May's here, and I know what I'm supposed to pack for Boston, but just haven't really started packing yet....... Student Visa was like a roller coaster ride, geez.. Don't wanna talk about it.

Hm... going back to SL again after being MIA for months... Still working there at SLNE as Wyatt Carter, and dancing at Sweetheart Jazz as Janice Audion. Met up with old friends and made some new ones, pretty cool... Somehow I'm back to the "old" games that I play.

2010-04-11T21:01:00.004+08:00

A burden that burns my eyes and burns my heart. Not one that I want to bear, but was put on my shoulders. Do I have a choice? No. Was that my choice to make? No. Why did I do it? Cos' I know its my duty, my freaking duty...

WHAT IS RESPECT? Can you really pretend to respect somebody? My answer... Yes. Respect because you have to, not because you want to. On the surface. Nothing more than that. Respect because you can't disobey or disrespect because of how the frigging world turns. But deep down, that person is not worthy of your respect. This is = Pretending to respect. Not from the heart, but just the surface. How can it still be call respect?? I have no answer for it...

WHAT IS DISRESPECT? Can you disrespect somebody but pretend you still respect the person? My answer... Yes. Disrespect because that person has done every single wrong thing in the world, but you can't show that disrespect because of how the frigging world turns. So you pretend to respect when deep down inside the person is worse than a dog!

***

I just want to escape to where you are, where you can hold me tight and tell me it's alright.
Tell me you'll be here and cuddle me close.
I just want to escape away from the pain and know that my scantuary is with you~

Work done

2010-04-06T22:37:00.002+08:00

Exhale a sigh of relief~~~

Finally the work for IT lessons are all done and completed. Grrr, as much as we complained and whined, we still do it because it's part of our job as students. Gotta admit, the process was really tiring and frustrating, but in the end you really felt "Whew, I'm done".

Looking forward to Thurs... Last IT lesson, and last lesson of the week.

Once this is over, I can concentrate on packing for Boston. Still need to work out some kinks and persuasions... The same old, same old.

2010-04-03T00:46:00.002+08:00

Sleepy, lethargic, tired... almost 3 days and nothing turns for the better... This is really depressing my mood and everything else. Nothing and nobody can make me feel better.. Just feel everything is troublesome and tiresome... *sob*

I want to feel better.......!!!!!! Really feel like skipping the class tomorrow and just REST! I don't feel up to it to teach for 2hrs, or even make my way to grams house. I just want to nap with no alarm and nobody to wake me up until I wake up on my own. LOL.. Easier said than done.

Can't wait for Boston.. I'm so afraid I wouldnt get what I want.. But gonna enjoy myself more if I can't have what I want, enjoy for 2 people (Me and Hun) :p

Chain Reaction?

2010-03-19T22:54:00.004+08:00

I read my cousin blog, who talked about my Sis' blog, then saw FB status and went to my own blog.. Alot of things happened consecutively and suddenly I wanted to write about something.

Solitude - What my sis blogged about. Being in solitude is good at certain parts of the day, or at certain moments when you just want to be away from all the hussle and bustle and just take a step back into your own world. A world where it's all quiet. An escape. I like to be alone, it's good to just enjoy a cup of coffee with a good book and some light music alone..

Then my mind turned to my cousin's blog about relationship.. And solitude wasn't that a good thing. Sure, in any relationship there has to be solitude, an alone time even away from your love... But it can get lonely sometimes, when you're down, when you're alone, when you're happy etc. It's not good to be in solitary too much when in a relationship until the point you don't even feel like you're in a relationship. Now that is terrible..

Then came the words "trust" and "mistrust" which was mentioned. My cousin was right.. All kinds of relationship started with mutual trust, and end with mutual mistrust. It's one of the most fundamental aspect to forming relationship - Trust. However, it's just as fragile as glass, and invisible to touch.

There is a thin line between trust and mistrust, and how do we really trust someone? That is a question that only you can answer. Follow your heart. People may think that you shouldn't trust a particular someone that much, but as long as you know it and do, it doesnt matter how people think, because they don't know the person like you do. When you reach out to trust that person, that person is doing the same thing to you. It's unfair to doubt that person, especially if that person means no harm at all. If that's the case, why trust in the first place?

I've seen cases where trust turned into backstabbing... Sad but not necessarily impossible. There are people like this, and this happens because people take advantage of the trust and turned it against the others. Once that happens, mistrust surfaced and "bang" goes that relationship.

I've got no idea how to solve these... It's all matters of our hearts. Trust a person or don't trust a person is only a decision away. What matters is truly how you feel about reaching out to build that trust with the other person.

Another part of my cousin's blog was on feelings in a relationship. And it made me think... Yep, it is important in relationships.. In this case I'm talking about boy-girl/man-woman relationship. Feeling IS important, and sometimes because the feeling is there, no matter what far you are away, how lonely you feel, how angry you feel, how neglected you feel or what happened or did not happened etc... (I lost my thought)... You still know that the person you care about is still around. It can spice up conversations, spice up your life, spice up the love, make you feel warm and fuzzy and make you pissed (sometimes).. Hahahahaha, it's complicated.

I've seen a show where this character says, "Sometimes it's nice to worry for the person you love, or even be angry at that person. Because then you're sure that you still have feelings for this person, and that you care enough to worry for him/her or be angry for what he/she did or say or didn't do or didn't say." (Okay, I added a little bit here and there myself.. but that's the general idea...)

And feelings never die.. When you love somebody, you have feelings for that person. You worry for him/her, you care about his/her day and life, you want to be there with him/her. The feeling between a couple dies when neither no longer loves the other... When you don't feel exceptionally happy to see the person, or when you're together you don't see it as a time of blessing... That there's nothing special anymore.

I count my blessings... that the feeling is still so strong after so long... And to know that it's strong on both ends, makes everything bad better :))

random

2010-03-16T21:43:00.002+08:00

Saturday class was fun, almost ran out of time, but didnt. Really went for the muffin in class, they were all looking forward to it, me included because that was my supposed-lunch. :p Another funny thing was the activity done at the end of the lesson... 4 out of 5 drawings were the same! Hahahaa.. it was the expression of "boredom", and apparently 4 of us felt that it was like: -_- HAHHA!

Went to get my sunglassafter seeing it 2x... Hun was like "Lol, just get it." I did, it was great... Can't wait for Saturday to get them. =D And also probably gonna bake, thanks to Ting who made me itchy to bake. A discussion on Facebook led from home-cook meals to planning menus to baking loads of desserts, and a suggestion of green tea flavored. Really tempted to bake, really do... If I can complete till 80% of my portfolio by Friday, I'll definately bake on Saturday and do the remaining on Sunday and the following week to finalize. Man I'm straped for cash and I gotta bake 2x? One for Ting and one for my students when I see them in Term 2's start of lesson (as promised).

Portfolio... Date's been set. Mock interview was scary... My heart was pounding like a bird struggling to get free. Hm, the pounding still can't be compared to Christmas Eve when I called Hun. Hahaha, well, good experience though, to be critiqued by peers and teachers.. Self-awareness is important. :)

And a thought just crossed my mind.. We can never know people... I find it easy and reliable to trust my friends and Hun, but not distant relatives... Weird, it's relatives that gives me problem in trusting and liking them. They just treat you like a stepping stone to whatever they want. "You can't choose relatives, you can only avoid them"... Just like Hun said. I've distant myself, and glad I did. I hate these kind of people who treat others like crap and just toy with others' trust.

2010-03-10T23:07:00.002+08:00

Last day of class this coming Saturday... No idea what I'm gonna do, hahaha. But probably would listen to my students and bring in a cupcake or muffin... Since it's quite apt for the lesson-to-come. Hm, maybe 1 from Starbucks should be enough for 6 people... Now where can I find a candle?

Hahhaha, Thitipat's idea of celebrating my 22nd birthday WAAAAYYYY before it actually happened. Cos I won't be seeing them anymore. :'( Kinda sad, but they have other committments to attend that ate into the CL lesson times.

Gonna eat it behind closed doors and silently.... Kinda against the policy to eat in class. Sweets and chocolates I don't mind, but apparently it's not advisable for the school. I have to adhere to it, but at least they know it when I told them, "Only sweets and chocolates allowed." Hm, muffins this time, O what the heck. We'll just clean up later :p

For some reasons I am looking forward to Saturday's last lesson. Maybe it's the plan, maybe cos it's LAST, or maybe I am just looking forward to it.

love

2010-03-07T22:39:00.004+08:00

Read a love quote on Xiaxue's blog. I do love that quote, it speaks to me. So simple, so true. Then comes daydreaming again. Been doing that for a long time now, ever since I was a kid. Just that the content of daydreaming is different.

What quote is that? It's one by Lord Alfred Tennyson (sadly I have no idea who he was) and it goes like this:

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.

Beautiful~~~

Went online to search for love quotes.. I wanted to type something that is different yet still so simple. Seriously I need to find something to do in my freetime besides WoW and Berlitz and FB and Jap Anime. Anyway, these love quotes were all sweet, some more than others. Some I can relate, others I can imagine. Some are written for specific occasion or people, a few taken from song lyrics, but most are pretty generic.

After browsing for about 20mins or so, I kinda came up with one of my own... It's pretty specific I guess, or it could be generic.

There's one reason why I love you; I love you because I can't find a reason not to.

a picture

2010-03-06T22:52:00.002+08:00

Sitting at the back of my Uncle's car while he drove us home. Aunt opened the skylight view and the top cover slide open(not convertible), revealing the pale blue sky, fluffy white clouds and the trees above our heads. It was beautiful to just lean back and watch the sky, the clouds and the trees as the car drove on.

Usually when we sit on the bus or train or taxi or car, usually we look at our surroundings, buildings, trees in front of us, and on either side of us. Yea, sometimes we look towards the horizon and see the clouds and sky. Yeah.. But how many times can we really get the chance to view things from downside-up? It's a different perspective.

I could really see each and ever leaf, how they were shaped, how they hung from the branches. Oh and the branches! Such beautiful way of extending out in various directions. We never notice the branches, or at least I never noticed the branches. When we walk or whatever, we see leaves and trunk, and the branches are covered by the leaves. But when you look from downside-up, you really can see each and every branch individually with every leaf in sight, how they hung from the branches, how they sway to the breeze, how they cluster themselves together. Simply wow.

It was really a nice experience to really see things from this perspective, makes me wonder that sometimes we take the little things in life for granted. When usualy these little things in life makes up what life is all about. =)

2010-03-06T00:23:00.003+08:00

Starving... That's not a good sign. I've read about it somewhere, when one is hungry, it usually means that person needs sleep. Hah. It's not hunger that the body needs to be satisfied with, it's rest.

Amazing isn't it? Our bodies giving us different cues and clues on what it wants and what we need.

It's just our job to decipher those clues and telltale signs.. Usually we get it right, sometimes we get it wrong. Trial and error, till we know. Of course, reading helps too :p

random

2010-02-28T22:52:00.002+08:00

Random once again....

Extensions are a drag... the assignments aren't piling up (spaced out) which made our speed all slow down all of a sudden. Not used to it, even if it's not the first time we're faced with this...

First time I doubt myself as a late owl. Usually my mind is the clearest very early in the morning and very late at night.. But the whole BcS screwed up my clock. LOL!

Almost 1 year... and the feeling is still strong. It hasn't change. Despite going against the flow. Just hoping it's still strong on either side. Things change, people change even as close as siblings.

Boston... I want boston! I want him in boston! But then it's probably awkward for him :( ARGH! Can't have the best of both worlds.....

cute cousin

2010-02-22T21:00:00.002+08:00

I have a very cute cousin, who says he has a feeling of me dating :p

Deep down I really want to say, "yes, but he's not here at the moment", but that'll raise more conflicts.

To deny and feel bad just to prevent crossfire, rather than to admit and engage in crossfire.

One thing we both agree... We know the truth, that's all it matters. If the little white lie can minus alot of crossfires, we'd rather lie and just live life the way we want to. So regardless how much I would say "yes", I'll still reply, "no".

It's painful to lie, but this is what I can do now when nothing is set in stone and almost anything can spark off that crossfire. When things go the way we want to, regardless of the pain and crossfires, I would definately say, "Yes."

2010-02-17T01:32:00.003+08:00

Despite education, there are some ppl who skipped school and skipped lessons.. Cos' apparently they have missed attending the class called "Manners 101". -.- So what if you're dressed decently? Good appearance, rotton core = ROTTEN ALL OVER!

I'm not a racist or a sexist or whatever -ist... But it just so happened that this happened on an Indian guy. I would have the exact same reaction if it's a Chinese or other races. IT'S MANNERS! And this guy obviously doesn't have it.

Okay, so it was a crowded bus and I was at the privilege seat. And alot of people came onboard. An elderly woman (prob in late 50s or early 60s) sat down an empty seat. The elderly man behind her didn't have a seat.

So, I stood up and tapped on his shoulder, "Uncle, please sit."

Whaddaya know? An Indian guy just conveniently slid behind me and plant himself on the chair as soon as I stood up. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? That's NOT for you!

The elderly man saw it and just smiled... I just stared at that no manners bastard. Thinking back I really should have told him, "Hey, that's not for your butt! It's for this Uncle who's twice your age!" But I didn't...

At that point I don't see the need to waste my energy on people like him. But now as I think back, he deserved whatever I was supposed to throw at him. Thankfully, someone else gave up the seat when she saw the exchange... And as she walked past that ill-mannered man, she said it loud and clear (I could hear her over my earpiece) - "No manners." Kudos to that lady~

It's a good thing that lady gave up her seat... The entire journey since that exchange was 15-20mins long! I got off BEFORE the elderly man got off... Imagine if he were to stand the entire journey.

It's Singapore people... We're Singaporeans! We're asked to uphold such moral values yet there are ppl like that to ruin that kind of image. -.-lll

2010-02-15T22:54:00.003+08:00

BUSY,

A word that speed time up,
A word that people hate,
Yet a word that is in our life.

A word that makes life hard,
A word that makes things fun,
And a word that's full of life.

Sometimes I really hate this word because it makes my life miserable and feel as if 24hours a day is never enough and 5hours of sleep is GOLD, and a perfect excuse for anybody to escape whatever committment they have just to catch a few more hours of rest in their days- Party, gathering, outing etc.

Yet sometimes I like this word because it shows how meaningful life can be, rather to spend it doing something than to spend it doing nothing.

BUSY... What a complicated word...

staying up

2010-02-13T03:00:00.002+08:00

Staying up on the last day of school... And I mean STAYING UP! It's currently 3am and I'm wide awake... With my eyes burning, but I don't feel sleepy...

And I must have wrecked my brain for the past 6 weeks, cos I just watched Valentine on HBO, which was a Horror movie.. ALONE. :/ I do need a hug after the show...... At least I didn't watch it with the lights off, THAT would be scary...

Totally missing my man, terribly... :( Missing more and more, especially on the upcoming V'Day~ *sob*

... dreadful shower

2010-02-06T22:28:00.003+08:00

The one time I can truly think is when I'm wet, hah. The entire Saturday without tuition, doing assignments, playing WoW, doing more assignments and spending time with grams, aunt, uncle and cousins... Did I mention no tuition? It was really fulfiling, and I didn't feel as if I've wasted my entire Saturday.

Usually Saturday mornings are used for my prep work for tuition, then off to tuition I go, and then either dinner with grams or dinner at home. By the end of the day, I've got absolutely no mood or energy left with study or do assignments. 1 day gone by and wasted... Just like that. Not today though, not today.

It made me think about my decision of relinquishing my position as the Chinese tutor every Saturday once May is over before my Boston trip begins. By the time I return, it should be August... The thought of letting go of this job crossed my mind countless number of times, and I guess the students might have something to do with it.

It makes a teacher happy and contented knowing that the students walk out from your lessons learning something. But it takes just 1 or even 2 students to make that go away... The uninterested attitude in learning another language, treating class time as play time, sleeping in class... -.-lll It kills my mood to teach, no.. It kills my mood to think about going there, let alone teach!

Honestly, I don't blame them... They DO NOT have that Chinese background in them, any of them.. None of them were like half-Chinese or whatsoever... Learning a new language is tough, I should know... And it takes alot of motivation to get through. I know my motivation, and I push myself forward thinking about my motivation. It keeps me sane and keep moving forward. But I have no idea what their motivation is, at all. I have no idea why they even wanted to learn Chinese in the first place? Is this about the way China is expanding itself? And that Chinese will be a good language to know?

Personally, I would seriously suggest they give up learning. Rather, do something that they like. I wouldn't force my kids to do something that they hate and end up wasting their time and my money and not learning anything at all... Life is short enough, 24hours a day is just nice for us to balance between work/school and play. Don't waste it on something which you have no interests of. If it's of your interest, no matter how much effort you put in, how much it costs.. Go ahead. But not when it is something you are being forced into learning or doing.

I really don't know how the parents actually think... If the kids are like Half-Chinese and one of their parents is a Chinese, and they want the kid to know that language, fine, still acceptable. And then... why can't the parent teach the kid himself/herself? -.-lll

Money doesn't fall from trees, don't they know that? Sigh........ I'm so thankful next week there's no lesson due to CNY... But the week after next, and the week after next, and the week after next, and so many weeks after that..... :( I can't imagine~

Beyond tired

2010-02-03T10:54:00.003+08:00

I can't believe for someone like me who usually sleeps at 1+am would fall asleep and doze off at 11+pm -.-lll It's supposed to be "early" for me... LOL

I must be losing my mind, and everything feels like a drag... Not distracted, but no motivation to push on (not even when I'm thinking about my pillar of strength).

Final 2 weeks of school... Weird, so very weird. PUSH ON! NO MATTER WHAT!

2010-01-25T23:38:00.002+08:00

WoW... Driving me nuts. I'm so totally confused with my account right now... USA & Euro both giving me headaches. Lol. Trying to work out the kinks, while focusing on school first and not on WoW. Not yet...

Very tired today, no idea why. Slept early yesterday. Oh there's the reason... sleeping early. Yikes!

Drilling myself with German. Hm, tough but fun, and slow cos I need to get all the basics down before I can move to something else. Hate to say it but repetition is the way to get info into your head and remember. So far so good.

Charging ahead. Assignments are catching up with due dates. Gotta run faster... We're almost at the finish line!

2010-01-20T21:57:00.002+08:00

When you have nothing to do, blog.

When you have something to say, blog.

When you're feeling grumpy or pissed, blog.

When you're just randomly typing, blog.

What am I doing now? Feeling how I felt last Wed, cos I don't feel like doing any assignments cos tomorrow there's no school or class. Geez!

Should probably start on assignments or continue at least. But all I can think about is WoW & Mein Mann~

Marco's song

2010-01-17T20:19:00.003+08:00

Title: You are the world to me (His song)

Lyrics: Janice

Tune: Janice

Lying on my bed late at night,

Listening to the time ticking by.

The night is dark and stars filled the sky,

How I wish I'm there by your side.

Wishing on the star from my room,

Praying that my wish would come true.

Never though it would be so hard,

When we're set two worlds apart.

I miss you with every beat of my heart

I miss you when my world falls apart

I miss you with every breath that I take

I miss you and that's no mistake.

You're in every song that I sing,

You're in every word that I write.

You're in every dream that I dream,

Cos you are the world to me.

Living everyday as they are,

But my heart still longs for you.

With both our jobs and our lives,

Are you thinking of me too?

I'll hold on no matter what,

Neither one of us would fall apart.

As long as we know where's the end,

The future we want is in our hands.

I miss you with every beat of my heart

I miss you when my world falls apart

I miss you with every breath that I take

I miss you and that's no mistake

You're in every song that I sing

You're in every word that I write

You're in every dream that I dream

Cos you are the world to me.

One of the moments when I'm really tired, but still holding on, and feeling weird not being close to you.

Boston

2010-01-16T10:41:00.003+08:00

3rd Feb, a day I'm looking forward to... Briefing for our Summer Immersion Programme in.....BOSTON! WOOHOO! :P

And the next day.. A very special day~

I'm really excited and looking forward to it. Two weeks of intensive weeks are gone, we're left with 4 more of it, plus 8 weeks of extension. Then... Goodbye Singapore, Hello Boston! :)

Alot of plans are already playing in my head, what I'm gonna do there and things like this... I really hope what I want would come true... One time where I won't be grounded, I really want to spend it with someone I've been dreaming of spending with... Sight-seeing, spending time together... Praying every single day it would happen, but nothing is set in stone and things ALWAYS work against my wish *angry*

It would be really fun to visit a place where I've been thinking about since a few years ago. Finally I have the chance. Does that mean the place I'm thinking of now (not Boston) would come true in a few year's time? :p

Avatar

2010-01-16T10:40:00.002+08:00

Avatar was really a good movie! Now I know why it took them such a long time to film it to perfection :) 3D ROCKS! Really have to catch it in 3D to totally enjoy the scenery and every bit of details. Of course, w/o 3D the movie is just as nice... personal preference I guess.

Life

2010-01-10T18:26:00.002+08:00

My sis asked me, "Life is a guessing game. Is it a positive comment or a negative comment?"
I answered, "A positive one."
She googled and said, "No it's a negative one. For someone who is sure of his/her life, it is not a guessing game."

For me, I think that life is still a guessing game, and it's alright. What's life without a little fun? Sometimes guessing be fun (if you're not too uptight about it) ;)

No matter how strong-willed or confident about a route you take or a decision you make, at some point of time you will second-guess yourself, or guess what will happen next.

However, it's fine... Because that's life. For people who see it in the negative light may rebutt that 'guessing' in one's life only creates more problems. But for people who see it in the positive light, they will say life is full of guesses and it is these guesses that allow us to challenge ourselves. So no matter how hard it is, there's still the element of fun.

Whew.. one of my few very philosophical and deep blog posts.. Hahaha! =D

smart move

2010-01-10T00:44:00.003+08:00

Packed the entire month's worth of "quality time" into 1 day... With grams, aunt and cousins. According to Hun it was a smart move, who knows how much more assignments there would be? Exhausting but contented.. Now I can focus on my assignments for the weeks to come and not worry that I have to waste my Saturday not doing any work and feeling stressed after that.

It's bad to say going to grams house is a waste of my time, but when you are racing against time and assignments are piling up, stress is overflowing.. Every second count. Though I will still continue to chat with Hun at certain timing to take my mind off work.

*Yawns* Simply tired but there're still assignments unfinished and readings unread... Can't sleep early even if I want to, and the longer I stay up the more awake I am.

Random

2010-01-06T22:54:00.002+08:00

Very random.. okay..

I find that when one grows up, one's thoughts would be more refined and more in depth.

After reading my sis' blog on innocence, I think that it is in everyone of us. Expecting others to treat you the same way you treat them is not a naive thinking, it's what all of us hope for. And believing in what other's words is not an act of innocence, simply just putting put the trust in that person. And finally, giving without asking anything in return; that is an act of selflessness instead of innocence.

Which reminded me of the lectures in class about Mentors. One of the traits during our class and group discussions was that a mentor is someone who really do give without asking or expecting anything in return. It is a great act and not many can do so.

Might be the sleepyness, the tiredness, the homework... Things are finally reverting back to the "busy" schedules and there's no time for procrastination. Yet at times my mind would wander off to someplace else, someone else... But even if my mind wanders off, they would always keep me sane and on tasks, because that is what I'm dreaming of and trying to work towards.

First post of 2010

2010-01-01T23:37:00.004+08:00

Very first post of 2010...

Well.... WHAT A WONDERFUL START! Had my last wish of 2009 came true(in a way), had a beautiful dream until my alarm woke me out, and read a wake-up message of New Year wish from Hun before I climbed out of bed. =D

So then ... lunch with Dad and Sis, shopping for CNY clothes(no time once school starts) and brought 2 tops and a skirt. =) And finally Dad handed me his Omnia 2.

Frankly, I'm a tech noob, serious tech noob, hahahha, but at least I got the functions right. Yet, it there are silly moments which made my sis felt like she's an expert =X LOL!

Great Day 1 of 2010... Tomorrow shall re start my tuition. After such a long break, mixed feelings I guess. Sometimes I find myself teaching them Chinese words more than conversation... So probably 1st lesson tomorrow I shall forget about the handout and focus on some simple conversations :)

end of 2009

2009-12-30T22:49:00.004+08:00

Water can really wash away the exhaustion, makes one feels refresh, clear one's thoughts, cool one's mind. A thought occured to be while I was being drenched in water. The timing was right with 2009 coming to an end very soon and 2010 will be in its place the following day. I wish that 2010 would be just as a good year as 2009 was, or if possible, even better.

2009 really held a much more special meaning than any other year for me. For a few reasons (rankings do not matter):

1. I turned 21, officially stepping into the adulthood.

2. My 21st birthday was celebrated 4 times!

3. I reunite with a very good friend of mine after a long separation... which bring about no. 4...

4. I fell in love with him (and still very much in love though right now we can't be nothing more than best friend because of how the world works). I never thought it would be possible, but that's love for you. If there is an explanation to it, it's not love. :)) But it was magical and I'm glad that happened to the both of us even though it drives us to corners and break us down.

5. I took a trip to Malacca with a group of friends on my own, not with my family.

6. I started Wheelock College, a place where I've been dreaming of going since Year 1.

7. I started my part-time tuition work at HUA where I'm being treated as part of the staff family though I was only part-time.

8. I lost my beloved black jacket (before my current gray one).

9. I got my own camera! An IXUS120 CANON!

Quite a list huh.... :))

Since the new year is coming, let's see... New Year's Resolution? I've never thought much about my New Year Resolution for the past 20years of my life (10+ years if you minus away my childhood days when I didn't know about such thing as 'new year resolution) Hehehe ;)

But... Because 2009 holds such dear memories for me, I decided, "Hey, why not start thinking about New Year Resolution?"

My New Year's Resolutions.. A rather short list I think:

1. Learn German! I'm about 20% there? I can speak a few words and get simple words by listening and recognizing some text. But I still have a long way to go to reading sentences, writing sentences and conversing in German.

2. SAVE $. Okay, been doing that even without NYR, but maybe even more so in the upcoming year... Imagine Boston & My plan to go Europe... *whistle*.

3. This one is rather silly, and inspired by my Wheelock buddies... I shall start having a wishlist. :p

Good health, good wealth, good luck, good everything for everyone I know and love all around the world... This isn't a New Year Resolution, because it's an OBLIGATION, a COMPULSARY, a NEED every second, every minute, every hour, every day, afternoon, night, every week, every month, EVERY YEAR! :D

As of this very moment, all I'm thinking is that I want to cross over to the New Year with Mac... That's all I want, that's all I can ask for with things and people working against us. I'm going to make it happen...... I just pray my last wish of 2009 will come true *looks into the night sky into the twinkling star that is always at that position*~

staff meeting at HUA

2009-12-29T22:18:00.002+08:00

Another staff meeting at HUA tomorrow at 9am... A 3-hour meeting which I have to attend because I'm one of the staffs there. Really, I'm honoured that they treat me as part of the family (though I'm just part-time).. But I couldn't stand the meeting.

The 1st meeting was in June'09. That was my first encounter with the meeting at HUA. It was not an unpleasant experience, but it was a boring one.

I can't imagine me sitting through 3hrs (again) without standing up or going for a walk and just listening to their discussion on topics that are unrelated to my class or lessons... No mention of the Foreign students, it was all on the local Pre-schools, Primary Schools and Secondary Schools.

Frankly speaking, I don't see my presence there to be compulsary, but since they called me, I have to go. And I need to get my syllabus to prep for my lesson.

Geez... I sure hope I can handle the intensive weeks PLUS my weekly tuition at HUA. :( When I first started, it was WAY over the intensive weeks... Now year 2010 is definately going to BE a challenge for me - Whether I can multi-task, focus, prioritize and manage my time well for school, work, family, friends, my love and myself.

joke of the day - 28th Dec'09

2009-12-29T22:11:00.002+08:00

On our way to Eve's birthday party yesterday, we came upon a joke of the day... In a taxi.

Grace, XT, ZQ and I took the taxi there. On our way there, the radio was on and there was a game. The game goes like this: Listen to a short story and then answer a question.

So the short story goes... There was a smoker husband who doesn't quit no matter what. His wife came up with a plan - that she will save the exact amount of money he spent on smoking and tally it at the end of the year. So when she brought out the saving, the husband realized that he could save up to over 1k if he never smoked. So he quit. The following year the husband asked the wife how much had she saved, and she replied none, because he had quit smoking.

Initially, we were wondering, since it's a game on the radio, the questions asked should be related to the short story told. But then.. the question stumped all of us (at least the 3 of us sitting at the rear). The question asked by the DJ was, "Madam, how many times did you hear the knocking of the doors?"

Our reactions were uniform. "HAR?" LOL! We couldnt hear any knocking on the doors (but actually there were). Interesting game... It diverts the listener's attention with the story and then asked something completely out of the blue and irrelevant expecting an answer. :P

That was the joke of the day... we couldnt hear the knockings when there was actually knocking of the door. XD Very interesting indeed.

X'Mas Dinner

2009-12-24T19:36:00.003+08:00

Christmas Dinner 2009 with family...Wow! That's really wow... We have the usual Chinese cuisine, and on top of that we have 3 hams, a turkey, and log cake for dessert :p *drooling*

It's all good...... It would be perfect if what I had in mind works out the way I want it to. That's all I can ask for this Christmas, realistically. But if I were to dream... I would want an additional presence~

Work over!

2009-12-20T21:15:00.003+08:00

Finally... My work is over! Well, almost.. In another 45mins :p I'm so glad I could get through 7days of work week, in one piece. Muahaha! Sense of satisfaction, sense of accomplishment, sense of fulfilment.

Next.. targetting projects and assignments. Really have to start them before school reopens. Already so many things to do BY THE START of school day, yes, Day 1.

Whew... A short breather before X'Mas.. alot of outings, and spending quality time with my man. Sweet! :p

.........

2009-12-19T22:44:00.004+08:00

They say if you love someone, you have to let them go. If they love you back, they'll come back.

Sometimes I do wonder if I made the right choice holding on.

Then I got reminded of why I chose to hold on - By people, by songs, by memories.

Yet I ponder over the above statement... I want to be happy, I want him to be happy. He wants me to be happy. Sometimes we're happy, but I know there are times when he's unhappy, when I'm unhappy, when he knows I'm unhappy.

Conflicted. Inner turmoil. But still holding on to that vague future we both desperately want to be real, a future that no doubt will be real if we're together at the same place.

I'm not a believer of God, specifically. Let nature take its course, one step at a time.

You've got mail...

2009-12-13T13:20:00.002+08:00

I saw a romantic comedy starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan: 'You've Got Mail'. And it reminded me that 'Sleepless in Seattle' was still left untouched, also starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. The decision was swift, *snap*, and the DVD show started.

"Do you sleep at night?" That was a questioned asked by a Doctor on air to Tom Hanks' character, who had just lost his wife.

The answer wasn't surprising. There are times when life was just a drag and time crawled on. And then finally the sun set and the night creeped in and you just lay there in bed staring into darkness, or rolling over to your side and looking out the window. But you just can't sleep. Or you just couldn't get to sleep, forget sleep altogether until somebody reminded you to go to bed.

It was a great movie.. Sleepless in Seattle. Magical, how 2 people who lived so far apart could be so right for each other, and all it takes was an airplane ride. All it takes was an airplane ride......

Crème brûlée

2009-12-10T20:23:00.003+08:00

Finally after dragging for so long I've done it! Creme brulee :p

Day off is gooooood, haha! The day before that was nice too. It was so peaceful and quiet listening to Louis' songs and doing my work, while being on FB and with Dear. Silence.... a good kind of silence. Can't imagine me sleeping at 4am, lol!

Making creme brulee... finally did it after wanting to do it for so long. One of my fav desserts, and dad's, plus he's coming home tonight, so it's sorta kinda his 'welcome home' sweets. Haha

I'll say 1st try it's not too bad. Looks nice, tastes nice. I thought it was abit sweet, but Mom said it was just right. Sis, being health conscious said it was fattening. Okay, gotta admit, it IS fattening... But what can you expect from 500ml of heavy cream?

Now I finally curb that urge to bake again, lol... I guess stopping for a long time really gets on my nerves. It was good to be in the kitchen baking once more... Not to mention cooking dinner. WOW! =D

French in the afternoon (creme brulee), Italian at night (pasta).. The kitchen today was my playground. ROFL! ;) Love it! I just wish I could cook these for Dear and not just satisfying his eyes but also his stomach.

stupid lenovo

2009-12-08T18:55:00.003+08:00

Never had a laptop that gave me problems, or at least not such problems that i have to call the company to arrange an appointment to fix it. :'( *sob* Lenovo... isn't it suppose to be a pretty good brand for laptops? And it's barely 6 months! >:(

It's an important part of my life, I didn't really realize how important it was until I came to the fact that I may not even use my laptop for a few days. I've no idea how long it takes to make an appointment and to actually repair.

People of the 21st century can't live without electronics (exclude lights and fans): Aircon, tv, radio, phone, mp3, iphone, itouch, ipod, bluetooth, camera, and last but not least, computers. Part of me know that it's good for me to kick away my laptop for a few days and just enjoy the rest of my surroundings. Gotta admit, I've never felt zen just sitting at my desk, listening to Louis' music on my radio (not played by WMP)and just read a book. And just lying there on my bed listening to music and looking out the window or at the ceiling.. Sure is nice to take my eyes off the computer screen once a while. :p Ironic, lol.. and conflicted too, haha.

Yet part of me felt empty... Coming home to my laptop means coming home to Hun. It's lonely coming home to an empty room, or an empty house. Could it be a sign to say "pick up the phone"? Lol, I really don't know... Tempted to do so, longing to hear the voice that answer, but most of all, missing the one that I always come home to (kinda)... Even more so now that I might be laptop-disabled for a few days.

Only break day

2009-12-05T22:05:00.003+08:00

Time seemed to pass so quickly... my only break day is over! >.<

It's so contradicting, when there are moments when I felt time really crawled like nobody's business. Yet when it's now almost over, I felt that time could have slowed down. LOL!

Really testing my body limits today, slept late, woke up early, gonna sleep not-so-early. It was fun hanging out with the Jeaniuses and everything, but really draining in the eyes. Longest queue time I think... haha, should have brought a few more books to read. Finished "Girl Missing" within 1hr+ or so.

Good end to the day though, definately NOT a nightmare ;) Gonna keep me strong throughout my day tomorrow.

Amazing how 1 person, if it's the right person, changes the mood with just the presence, words and laughs :))

2009-11-30T23:17:00.003+08:00

I feel like fainting when I saw my timetable... That's work... And school's starting soon. No doubt studying is better than working, but the assignments are a drag. When life gives you lemon, make lemonade.

Ingredients for my lemonade:
Lemons (the work and stress and assignments)
Water (the relax and calm times)
Sugar (the sweetness in my life)
Love (in mind, body and soul)
Ice cubes (alone time away from everything stressful - game time)

Should be enough to pull me through.

I'd rather have you than the photos......

a scare

2009-11-24T11:23:00.001+08:00

Couldnt find my mp3 the night before... Thought I left it at the workplace.

Woke up this morning, suddenly thinking about my mp3 and saw my bag just next to me.

Somehow or rather I knew i need to unzip it and try looking for it again.

Tadah! I found my mp3. What a fright the night before.. but love the intuition kicking into place this morning. :p

last wk of nov

2009-11-23T20:05:00.002+08:00

The start of my long week... Gotta buy bread and eggs for workplace.. Can't believe I managed to haul 14 loaves of bread and a tray of 30 eggs by myself from Northpoint all the way to LOZ! :P Wahahahahahhaha.....

Thursday

2009-11-19T22:36:00.003+08:00

2012... Simply a must watch! =D Like what my sis said, it's very geography :p

The movie was long, about 3hrs, but time really flew by because of the action and adventure, they simply capture your attention... You wanna know what's gonna happen next, what's their next move etc. At least that happened to me. It's abit like 'The day after tomorrow'... About world's end.

Just like any other movie, there's always happy ending. The thrill about this is "How do they get there?" That's the main question throughout the movie. It was nail-biting and you're gonna have tunne vision watching the show, cos everything else around you just seem oblivious (unless you have a vibrating mobile in your pocket :p ). I'm so getting the DVD for this show.. it's worth watching again and again.

Seriously, 2012... It's not the end of world. But it did made me ponder. If it's the end of world, I would want to live with no regrets, and be with the people I love when it really happened. Then came the thinking... Always thinking... IF it's really gonna happen, maybe we should stop thinking and just do it.

Put up the X'Mas tree once we reached home.. Took us less than half hour to get the tree up and the lights around it. Then, we ran out of lights. 2 out f 3 were busted, and 1 wasn't enough for the whole 6 ft tree. Gonna get more lights.

It does give off the Christmas feeling when the tree is in place, though it's still a month to Christmas as we know. But still, I would love to put up the tree on Christmas Eve someday... =)

2009-11-15T13:58:00.003+08:00

Nothing to do thus blog writing.

Still thinking... Always thinking... Never stops thinking...

Putting up the X'Mas tree before Christmas Eve, like always. Hope there would be a year which it could be different.

Closing tonight, gonna reach home late, geez.

Wizards of Waverly Place The Movie next Sunday, hope I can make it to watch.

My kids' year end concert, looking forward to it and seeing them once again... I miss them so much. Gonna be a busy week before the concert.

Sleep tight hon, I miss you~

deep thoughts

2009-11-12T18:52:00.004+08:00

Needed a place to clear my thoughts and sort out my thinking. Frankly speaking I don't know what to think, how to think. In such situation, usually I wouldn't think too much. I should really heed my own advice this time.

Past memories played in my mind like a silent movie, replaying the good times we share, the things we talked about, laughed about, discussed about, moments we enjoyed company of each other, moments when we shared in silence while we go on with our own things without a single word said. Time was short, time was difficult to synchronized thus we made the most of the moments we have together with each other. That kept us strong, kept us close, made us telepathic, made us treasure each and everything about the other.

A beautiful picture was painted in our minds, our hearts, our souls - What we wanted so badly, what we needed so desperately. Maybe the distance could have played a part in contributing to such strong emotions and desires. Yet one thing is for sure - The presence of these emotions and desires. Distance merely amplified them, not create them from nowhere.

Some say this cannot be real, it's fake, it's a scam, it's a lie.. It hurts like hell, but the thoughts of letting go hurts more than those.

We don't know what the other is doing on the other side of the world, what you know could have been filtered. Some parts rang true, THIS MUCH i know, I'm not dumb. Yet there's this thing call "trust" which should be present in everyone, between each relationships (all kinds of relationships). Being together for so long, with the distance so great, yet doing so well (minus the variables), it was all because of trust and honesty. If we couldn't even trust this much in each other and be honest about it, there's no point in starting this whole "ride" in the first place.

Some may argue that there's no deadline in lies, one can fabricate lies from the start and build on it to fool people. But someday it will still be exposed. Otherwise there wouldn't be this saying that "the cat is out of the bag".

Complicated thoughts, still sorting them out. However after so much thoughts, one thing never changes, regardless of how tough the situation is, regardless of what variables may be in play, what obstacles are present during the "ride" --> I love this ride too much to just jump off and go on separate ways. The ride is tough, but the journey, the scenery and the company reigns over the bad.

Random...

2009-11-11T22:36:00.003+08:00

Yet anoher random post... Hm, let's give it a theme then. Let's talk about Christmas.

I've always wanted to deco the X'mas tree on Christmas Eve, but it's always impossible because it takes hours to put the tree together and deco it, and it's better done as a family. With work and everything else, it's hard to get the entire family psyched up on Christmas Eve for that tree. I'm so in the wrong place~ =X

It's not even Dec yet but I'm already tuned into the Christmas mood, whereby some of my mp3 songs are being replaced by Christmas jingles, I'm browsing Christmas cards, Christmas deco, Christmas presents.

I stumbled upon a card while browsing today, and it caught my attention. The design was simple yet the words conveyed the wish I have in every fibre in my body. Just a simple card with a simple design of 2 bears. The words on the cover are "For my sweetheart". And within are these words, "Right beside you, that's where I want to be for this Christmas."

The thought hurts, yet because it hurts, it makes me realize and know that he means alot to me. Heartaches and warmth at the same time. Affairs of the heart has always been this complicated, and I don't even bother to make sense of it. It's not love if it can be explained with mere words.

Then there are songs and questions about Christmas wish and it got me thinking.... In the past I would always wish for presents, but as I grow up, presents no longer matters and I don't wish for presents anymore.

What I really wish for is presence.

Party Understudy

2009-11-08T20:37:00.002+08:00

It was interesting... dedicated my Sunday to 2 kids' parties... It sure was busy. After hearing from the rest of how weekends can be like, I've finally experienced it for myself. Phew!

Understudied 2 parties. 1st one was in the morning, 2nd on in the afternoon. I handled the 2nd one (except for the games segment where I had help). Prep work was alot, during the party, not so much, and after the party, just as much. HAHAHA! =D

Slept really early the night before and I think it was worst. Felt even more tired the next morning. Should have stayed on abit longer to chat with Dear and watched CSI :P

Guessed my biological clock was too used to sleeping late and waking up not-so-early BUT NOT sleeping early and waking up at around the same time. LOL! Interesting~~~

There goes my Sunday... Tiring and exhausting, but not from the parties. Apparently, when things are so busy, one tend to forget about lunch. Almost forgot about dinner too until I stepped into the kitchen and the aroma of the food filled my nostrils. ;)

1st day at work

2009-11-02T21:07:00.001+08:00

1st day at work.. It was alright. I've learnt quite a few things, and it was quite lax today... So far so good. My eyes are going gaga with Excel...

Hahaha, all the numbers :p Now I can feel how Dear, how Mom feels. =)

It was alright, looking forward to Wed. :)

Grams' Birthday :)

2009-11-01T00:53:00.003+08:00

Celebrated Grams Birthday at a restarant. Been there before, it was alright... Once again I was bloated (last week was more bloated than today though).

Old table and young table.. Hahaha! The usual - Parents + Grams a table, cousins another table ;) Food was okay, I wouldn't say the best... Compared to last week, last week's was better. But what matters was the company, and I can't complain... It was 90% perfect. The remaining 10% was because of the absence of a person. That was compensated when I reached home ^_^

Weird though.. when i finished the dinner my voice changed. That was really weird, I have no idea what happened. =( Sads man...... Wanted to chat with Dear but my voice changed.. he may have to tune up the volume :p It sounded as if I was gonna get flu or something or when I was gonna have sore throat =.=lll

Overall it was a great celebration... had the cake cutting at the restaurant instead of at home. Previously there was a table ofpeople who did the toasting a few times extremely loudly while we were having conversation. So when it was our turn, we sang "Happy Birthday" really loudly, hahahahahha. ROFL! =D

The 500th Post!

2009-10-30T19:23:00.003+08:00

The 500th Post! Gotta be something amazing. And it is!

TS2 finally worked after we fiddled, clicked, typed, pondered, puzzled over it for like half hour or so... Finally we got the problem and the solution :) Leave it to Dear to figure out the 'nerdy' part :p

Yay! We finally talked, oh gosh... I'll never get tired of his voice. Love it! And what surprises me was the accent was totally understandable! =D Practically no accent problem!

One of the best days ever for me. ^_^

full full full

2009-10-25T13:03:00.003+08:00

Dinner with 2nd Aunt & family was delicious! Food was great - tasty and authentic. Serving was HUGE. At the end of the entire meal (which lasted for about 2 hours) I really felt a bit sick in the gut. It was as if I had combined 3 dinners into 1 =.=lll

We had a total of 10 dishes, 4 main dishes, 5 side dishes and 1 dessert. Mmmmmmmm~ It was good, they were really good. And a few first for me: First time eating chilled crab, first time eating fried eggs with oyster and first time eating the dessert which made up of glutinious rice and 8 different flavoured pastes. =)

Too bloated to sleep by the time we reached home. Had a date with Dear during the weekends so went on WoW. Awww, Dear was so sweet, he waited for me the whole day to come online. =) *Melts* Hehehehe... You know when people say you get sleepy if you had too much food? Quite true, but after awhile it's gone and replaced by restlessness cos of the bloatedness...

Seriously I'm staying away from outside food for a LONG time. LOL! :P

Stephen King

2009-10-22T20:46:00.002+08:00

Just after sunset, let your imagination run wild!

It's just a statement, but the first 3 words are also the title of Stephen King's book.

I'm not a huge fan of his stories, but he's a good writer. This book was a gift. TBH, I wasn't too eager to start on the book, but I still did. And it showed what a writer Stephen King is.

The 1st story, haha, frankly speaking I was confused - Is he writing about ghosts or about people? Honestly, it could be either, there was no specification. Let your mind do the wandering.

The 2nd story was captivating in a decriptive way. While my eyes skimmed through the pages, the images formed in my head and the scenes played out like a silent movie. Every word, every action, every emotion, putting them into the "movie" and "actors and actress". It became another way of 'letting your imagination run wild". =)

The 3rd story, I wouldn't say it was a favourite, but though short, it certainly allow one's imagination to run all over the place. It was short, a conversation a husband had with his wife, dictating a nightmare he had the previous night. What made the mind went overdrive was as he told his nightmare, the details seemed to corresspond to the detail the wife was seeing at that very moment, even the sequence were the same. The story ended with a phone call (the source of the nightmare). So.... What happened next? Was his nightmare coming true? Or it was just a wrong number? Could it be a twist to his nightmare? Haahahaha, that was what had my attention. The suspense. What could have been, what migh have been.

Many writers can write short stories, many writers can write long stories and have them published a story per book. But I doubt there are many writers out there who can write different stories, with not one similar, yet revolving around a so-call theme.

'Let your imagination run wild' seems like a theme, and so far Stephen King's stories did do that. However, his brilliance is the way he managed to allow our minds (or at least mine) to do the work through different ways, different scenarios, different stories, different storyline. Brilliant~ =)

My sis is pretty good at guessing my preference in books. Hahahaa, or maybe I am just predictable. LOL! ;) But it was a gift that really opened my eyes to how good Stephen King is, though some times I can't grasp his way of looking at things and penning down his stories. :p

2009-10-19T23:20:00.003+08:00

Malacca Trip... 3 days worth of writing into 1 post.

Awesome, fun, alot of laughter, and it was really good :) Hotel was nice, the view was nice, company was nice, reason to be there was nice, food was nice, weather... not so nice. Almost got sunburn. I welcome to chill! I want the chill! :p The weather was worst than I'd imagined, even hotter than Singapore, and I thought Singapore had it bad! Geez~

No internet access, I thought I could die, lol! Hahahaha... Nah, not really. Brought pc there to transfer photos, that's about it. Didn't wanna waste $ on adaptor which I barely used, since it's charged by day. I'm out of the hotel room too often to waste RM on adaptor, even though it's quite cheap considering they only charge 20RM per day... But it's not worth the $ so forget it. :)

Night pool was fun... Not really good at pool, managed a few shots here and there. Won quite a number of games - paired up with Eudora. Desiree, Joey and Karen teamed up (there were only 5 of us). Really fun, and I did learn something from playing pool for real.. Haven't touch the cue ball or the stick for ages.

Beautiful sunset towards the end of Day 2. Too tired to get out for dinner, and just so happens before we leave for dinner, the most beautiful sunset I've seen in awhile appeared... Mmmmmmmmmm~
And practically the next morning, I woke up to a message from Love at 6.15am, love it. Love that message, and also the sender. Great start to Day 3 =)

Fun vacation I had with friends... Looking forward to the day which I actually go on a vacation with my love. Anything is possible as long as there's hope =)

posts

2009-10-12T18:11:00.002+08:00

Dan Brown's newest book, The Lost Symbol. AMAZING READ! I'm through about 1/4 and it totally captured my attention. Not gonna read like crazy without putting it down like what I used to do to his previous books. This one's way too thick for me to do that :p

1st time at Kino that I only purchased 1 book. Usually I would stock up my library, but this time, this was the only book I have my eyes on, nothing else. ;)

2009-10-09T01:01:00.002+08:00

Back to get Charmed by Charmed again. Watching from Season 1 sometimes really made me wish to just skip ahead of Season 3 or 4 :p

But it's bringing back memories... when I was young, well, younger... haha~

Plus-minus 3 hours of chat, and it left me wanting more, always.
Never fail to put a smile on my face, an ache in my heart and wonderful memories =)

Mid Autumn Festival

2009-10-03T21:19:00.002+08:00

Celebrated with my family at grams house, haha, no surprise there... :) The usual: Big feast, chats, laughs, mooncakes and also chinese tea. Mmmmm

Haha, it was quite distinctive when we were chatting... the adults on one side, the cousins on the other. So, the adults were on Channel 8 (Chinese) frequency, and us, we're tuned to the English frequency :p HAHAHAHA, it was really hilarious! We didn't really notice until Dad pointed out. It was really fun for us to change in btw the frequencies hahaha~

=D Mookcakes and tea, yum :) We're short of sparky and candles.. Hahaha~

HAPPY MID-AUTUMN FESTIVAL TO ALL!

steak

2009-09-30T14:29:00.001+08:00

Steak... been craving for it since my birthday :p

Finally decided to curb this craving... hopefully the steak turns out fine. Never tried making a steak at home. LOL!

Super Sunday

2009-09-27T17:54:00.001+08:00

Amazing Sunday, the sweetest surprise I've got in awhile. Love it! ^_^

Never want this Sunday to end. Ever.

2009-09-25T22:31:00.002+08:00

CSI:Singapore, very funny, entertaining and sweet. Thanks to the Chui Gang! =) I was totally bluffed.. The way they said it. I didn't suspect a thing.

Going to Yvonne's house, getting bubble tea, taking the bus... Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Probably cos I'm not the kind to really socialize till I wanna be invited to every house visit :p So, when the visit to Yvonne's house came up, nothing jumped out to me screaming "Something is going on!"

Hahaha... But, I was curious though, what if I had said "Yes" when I was asked to go along with them to get bubble tea? :p Can someone answer that qns for me? hehehe~

And I got Baby (A bear made by the Chui Gang as my birthday present) too, together with that home-made CSI:Singapore... I have no inspiration to name it at all, haha, so since it's a baby, it shall be call Baby, and it's a girl ;)

The Time Traveler's Wife was a great movie, a love story that is true, heartfelt, and I dare to say everlasting. To be able to love like this, I think it's anyone's dream. Would be a great movie to catch it with a love one. =)

Birthday day x2

2009-09-24T13:02:00.002+08:00

24th Sept is also my birthday.. Hahaha.. at least according to US timing. :) Had wishes form Louis, Becca and also Heath.

Friends made on Second Life will forever be friends, in BOTH SL and RL~ =) The song from Heath was lovely, a twist to the usual 'Happy Birthday' in a more serene way. Lovely :)

Woke up to a message again.. I love it. Felt like Mac's with me in the morning. =) Love that hotel he's in.. to allow him to get online, HAHA!

2009-09-23T17:27:00.002+08:00

YES! Finally no more assignments!!!!!!! School is still on-going till next Monday, but as far as I know, we're all done with out assignments. What's left is LTA's chapter ppt (which my group did an awesome job in preparing), as well as the chapter worksheet (which shouldn't be a problem for us) =)

Had a great start to my day... Woke up to a birthday blessing from Mac that made my heart sings... Amazing how 1 message could do to calm my nerves and perk me up =D *Hugs*

Thanks to all my friends and your birthday blessings. :D Truly an Unforgettable 21st Birthday!

mind's a blank

2009-09-22T20:50:00.002+08:00

ARGH! Test tomorrow and NOTHING is going into my brain, despite having the notes out in front of me. All I can think about is him - Is he alright? What's he seeing now? What's he doing now? Is he thinking about me too? Can his vacation time just freaking speed up? =.=lll
Hate the feeling of constant thinking, pining, missing, loving. It's turning my world upside down and inside-out~

Aside from that, sleep, CSI, Jack's Place, WoW, Sleep, especially SLEEP is filling up my brain as well. EVERYTHING but ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACTS!

Never gonna forget my 21st birthday. Ever. And that's a fact.

...

2009-09-21T14:12:00.004+08:00

2 celebrations in a row... Nice =) 1st with family, then with friends. Loved both.
But also the short duration of 2hrs before the 2nd celebartion... That's my favourite :p

Going bonkers, heart aching and already showing signs of 'Missing'..... =(

Wandering mind takes me away,

To the place where you are.

Wish I could just throw everything behind,

And just disappear,

To the island where there's only you and I.

Picnic at Mt Faber

2009-09-18T13:11:00.002+08:00

Labrador Park no shuttle service on weekdays.. What a bummer! Went to the nxt best place: Mt Faber. Everytime, picnic started with a hike! Had a hike to Henderson Wave previously, and this time was also a hike to the top... Hahahaha!

It was really fun, hanging out with Miki and Val.. Very small scale picnic (part 1 of the b-day celebration)... Part 2 is coming this Sun - Poolside Pizza Picnic Party at my Place. Hehe, PPPP :P Then 'twin' said something amiss if it's just pizza for celebration... So there's part 3 which is on that exact day itself.

She's right, something is amiss. But not something, but someone. What I really wanted was that someone to be here, even we're just hanging around watching tv and snacking, I wouldn't mind that time of cuddling and snuggling, hehe.

So many parts to my celebration, wow. And if counting family's celebration, it's 4 parts! =D Unforgettable, cos nv been done before. Lol...

random~

2009-09-16T12:18:00.004+08:00

If love was easy... It wouldn't be memorable~

If things come your way all the time, there wouldn't be the word "Obstacles"~

If we were from the same place, things wouldn't be so tedious.

But that's what make us different.

It's a miracle to love, a blessing to be together...

Even more so a miracle when 2 people can fall in love among more than 10million population count...

I didn't know I needed permission to fall in love... This knowledge came abit too late, and it's also redundant. Not going to just stop loving with this stupid and silly 'permission' thingy, it's unreasonable! I get the idea and I see the point made (rather loudly), just can't see why couldn't it be~

My love,
Don't know about our future,

Unsure where it would lead.

But right at this moment,

You are all I need.

If it goes on forever,

With what we feel are true.

No matter how hard it is,

We'll always come through.

♥ Ich liebe dich ♥

~ Janice

2009-09-15T21:27:00.003+08:00

Nothing came to my mind as I blogged. Wondered why did I come to this page in the first place~

Finally got the DVD on 'Sleepless in Seattle' and 'Kate & Leopold'. The 1st one was introduced by FB, and recommended by Mac. The 2nd one was one of Hugh Jackman's movies =) Havn't quite watch S in S yet though.. that'l be my company during the 2 weeks of void spaces.

Assignments are slowly due and the numbers are going lower and lower, which was good... Alot of outings already planned. Good and bad.

Good cos I really need a break from the studies, just chilling and having fun.
Bad cos I'm saving up $ as much as I can with this plan in mind and heart. Something that I want it to happen, even if it's like 2yrs away.

2009-09-07T14:36:00.004+08:00

Unproductive Sunday... Went to the Airport at 6am... Barely 5hrs of sleep before, after a LONG DAY before that (Tuition prep, tuition, Yvonne's b-day). And slept when I reached home... 10.30am until 3pm.

Something happened in Airport and it became the worst day of my life. Period.
=( Literally cried myself to sleep... hugging Wyatt close, trying to forget what happened.

Only Mac could make me feel better and smile and laugh (after bringing the tears back to my eyes again when I once again remembered what happened when he asked what's wrong)...

Unproductive.. Couldnt concentrate on my work at all... until I talked to Mac. At least I finished Heidi's Blog assignment, finally. The procrastination ended, kinda...

Still felt so guilty and bad and sad and angry~

But I'm glad I didn't lose the one that means to me more.
Not letting go, not losing him.
Don't ever want to.

Drama

2009-09-05T00:10:00.002+08:00

"Wow. That's all I can say. Wow." =)

Drama was great... We did it twice! Awesome~ Hehehehehhee. 1st time was for the N2 and K1s (my kids), and the 2nd time was for another 2 classes (upstairs). We kinda improvised for the 2nd act, which was really cool, because they were young and the space was enough for us to do that improvisation... :p

It was cool, to have my kids see the performance as well, but they wanted a longer one after I asked for their opinion. But they still enjoyed the show. What took me by surprised was that after our dramatization, the K1s actually asked, "Is there another story for us?" Hahaha, CUTE!

Well done Muggs, Hare, Rabbit, Squirrel, Mouse, Frog, The Big Oak Tree and Romeo & Juliet! -Bird XD

Teacher's day celebration

2009-08-31T21:45:00.002+08:00

Monday... Teacher's Day celebration throughout almost everywhere as far as I know. Got invited about 2 weeks ago to attend a dinner celebration with the teachers and staffs from HUA Language Centre. Today was that day.

Was smashed right after school and it was only 12+ Headed home to get some stuff done and felt really tired and lethargic to even step out of the house again to do my project, but I still did, because it's school. Right after that, the tireness totally doubled. I have no idea why, probably the weather played a part to make me so sleepy. Just cooling enough with minimal showers. =)

It was a little early for me, and a little weird when I reached the centre, so went into Principal Huang's office to have a little chit-chat :p Then off to Sakura. The awkwardness tripled! 7 Tables and I dunno where to sit, so sat down with Principal Huang. It was so weird, cos I was officially the YOUNGEST among EVERYONE, and i only know less than a handful of teachers + staffs there. The mixing of groups helped a bit, so a few engaging conversations here and there. A few on the topic that I can TOTALLY relate to: Early Childhood Education =) Which was good.

It was really fun to be there, a new experience for me, being the new kid in the block, literally.... At least till the end, I know more of them, so not too bad still. Hahahahhahahaha, trying to make myself feel better by telling that to myself :p

HAPPY TEACHERS DAY TO ALL TEACHERS AND TEACHERS-TO-BE! =D

6M gathering

2009-08-30T15:24:00.002+08:00

BBQ @ Janel's place.. it was fun. :) Haven't seen those guys for a LONG time, hahaha, besides YangThong and JiaJi... Cos they're both from 4J like me, so we usually have our 4J Gatherings. I could still recognize ALL the faces, but couldn't remember a few names =X Hahahaha... Not many changed alot, some did. Most of us remained pretty much the same (cos quite easy to recognize).

Supposed to have our Pri 5 and Pri 6 form teachers to join us, but 1 had something on and the other doesn't seem to be interested in BBQ... It was nice, a change for me, to NOT stand at the BBQ Pit and BBQ..Hahaha, we had the guys serving us food. Thanks! :D

Left at around 9+, in time to get home, washed up and hang out with Mac on WoW as planned. =) Took a few pictures, not as many as how I usually take, because we're more incline to catch up more than taking pictures. It was really nice to see all of them again, at least half the class showed up!

Many thanks to our organzer Jia Ji, and Janel who rented the pit for us. =)

pollution, pollution, pollution

2009-08-26T17:55:00.002+08:00

It's a sad thing to see water, a source of live considered for many people living on Earth all over the world, being polluted every day mercilessly just like that. And we just keep on living our lives as though nothing is happening. The people of India still has this mindset that The Ganges is a holy water source; no matter how polluted she is, she is still clean and pure and has the ability to clense itself. I can't bear to see that people are polluting the river, yet they're still bathing and drinking from it, the same river!

And that Chang Jiang has turned from its ideal green grass and blue waters scenery into a green-and-brown grass and murky waters scenery. It's being polluted, and by clensing it could cause floods over industrials areas pouring MORE wastes into the already-polluted river, as well as destroying homes of the people who lived near the river. And the Mekong River was said to be like the Mother of all Rivers, but overfishing had caused it to become just a river without its 'life'...

Whatever we do, we're doing harm to the environment, whether if we're polluting or trying to process the pollutants into harmless thingy. Geez......... Every single day we're doing something to pollute the environment, sad to say I'm one of them. We all are. So I think it's important where we play our part in anti-pollute the world, or at least cut down if anti-polluting it is impossible.

random thoughts

2009-08-24T21:10:00.003+08:00

Random thoughts... Did some research on Sungi Buolo (dunno how to spell), and now slacking off thinking abt alot of random things...

1st: WoW. I'm not a fan of fantasy games, and one reason WoW didn't appeal to me was that it seems complicated, and costly (extension packs). But after like 1-2hrs of convo about WoW, it's kinda interesting.... And the pace now is so slow that it made me want to jump into this game like right now. But, nah.... Shall wait till end of Extension Weeks to start, or somewhere near the end. At least during that 2weeks of void spaces in September where I'm alone, maybe WoW can accompany me~

2nd: During class Sam was telling us abt this talk, post National Day Rally talk for youths. First reaction when I heard: Oh, there's actually something like this this year. Youths invited to speak. Seems nice... And for ppl who really shines in public speaking. Not my kind of thing, lol. Though I have to agree, the thinking of youths does affect how Singapore progress in the future.

3rd: Flying overseas... So sad that I started thinking abt flights out of Singapore. Wish time would just go faster, and it's the end of my whole Bach Degree Course. I'm adament, determined, resolved to save enough money to go to Europe! Not alone of course, but probably with my Mom maybe... I have a 'tourguide cum translator' in mind anyway. ;) I don't care anymore! I think studying Bach for so long and so hard (will be going to do that and ALREADY doing that), deserves a good break at the end. We all do!

4th: School........... Alot of mixed feelings. It's so tough, it's so fast, it's so easy, it's so slow. Geez~ Humans are so weird, or maybe it's just us. We longed for the days when we're buried deep in assignments and gasping for air or time to just take breaks. HAH! So very interesting.

5th: Yvonne's birthday. It'll be fun going as pixie or fairy or something, but 'cuteness' isn't my thing, lol. Gonna be a packed day for me..... from Morning till Evening... Whew!

End of random thoughts... CSI:NY? Or Portfolio? *wonders*

video in class

2009-08-23T15:37:00.002+08:00

First time watching a cartoon video during my class... Hahahha. I wondered what kind of video would it be.. In English? In Mandarin? Cartoon most probably? Well... cartoon was right, but it was in neither English nor Chinese. neither was it in Malay or Tamil.. I've got no idea what language it was on.

Well... the younger kids enjoyed the show, the older ones, not so much. I enjoyed it, since it's cartoon. I guess the child-like quality is important to enjoy a cartoon that's er... a little silly? :p

relatives?????

2009-08-22T20:26:00.004+08:00

Some surprises are good, some are bad, some leave you happy, some leave you mad. THIS surprise was REALLY a surprise... And I don't mean the good kind, or the happy kind. -.-

So... usual Saturday, woke up, did some tuition prep work, then shower and go out. And saw my distant relative visiting from China. Hello there. So far so good, nothing surprising yet. The surprise came in the evening, when i heard from my Mom that this distant relative is staying in our house for a day. Not too bad, I can handle a day, and he's m distant relative.

BIG MISTAKE!

Either my Mom told me the wrong info, or I heard it wrongly... But I'm pretty sure it's the first one, cos something so surpising, I wouldn't have heard it and just leave it be... It wasn't a day, it was a week!

I'm not mad at this relative that's staying at my house, I'm mad at the people who actually PUT him in my house. WITHOUT NOTICE! NONE of us knew it coming, I seriously can't believe it! And haha, it's WAAAAYYYY AWESOME.... The people who puts this distant relative at our house with no prior notice was actually also our relatives, in Singapore. -.-lll

How freaking hard is it to pick up the phone a few days before and tell us that this distant relative is visitng and will be staying at our house for a week? It doesnt even take 5 minutes to dial 8 digits and say a few lines!!!!!!!!!!!! INFURIATING!

I CAN'T BELIEVE THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE, YOUR OWN RELATIVES WHO TREAT YOU LIKE TRASH AND TREAT YOUR HOME LIKE A 24/7 MOTEL WHERE THEY CAN JUST 'THROW' WHOEVER WITH YOU FOR A FULL WEEK WITHOUT PRIOR NOTICE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? TOTAL CRAP AND BS!

I would graciously welcome it if we knew. Heck, don't say a week, a month and I wouldn't be so mad. My Grams didn't know, My Dad didn't know, My Mom didn't know =.=lll Still, nothing I could do, he's still here. I don't mind actually, since he came before abt 10years ago. I just HATE the fact that THOSE PEOPLE actually just dumped him here with us for a whole week, without telling!!!

That was the worst part... the no telling part. Surprises have different levels, some surprises like a surprise gift, or a surprise visit from a friend or a lover, that's absolutely fine. But a surprise that involves having someone over at your house without you knowing? It's a form of invasion of privacy. Who did THOSE PEOPLE think we are? Motel? Hotel? Bed-and-breakfast? >;[

Seriously I can't take people who does not even respect my family! SHEESH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Respect is the MOST important moral ANYONE should have it in them. And to think that someone who doesn't respect you as an individual and who does not respect your family, how you want us to treat them with respect still? It's a 2-way thing.

procrastinate...

2009-08-21T23:15:00.002+08:00

I'm so bored that it made me want to procrastinate...

And the more I procrastinate, the more I felt like time jus crawled on.

Really missed the days in the intensive weeks where there're things to do every single day. It's torturous because we have like no life and it's really rushing to meet the deadlines, but it's fulfiling.

I may complain about Friday not being an actual break day... A part wishes it really is break day, but then again, another part of me just want something to do. Anything.

No motivation or sense of urgency to do any work~ AH! Not that I'm not doing any work every day, but the pace was so slow! -.-lll Gotta break out of this chain of thoughts immediately! There's ALOT of work to be done! I just know it! Now it's left with psyching myself up to actually do it.

ICQ

2009-08-21T01:42:00.002+08:00

Started ICQ... Been mulling over the decision for quite some time now, and with FB giving me alot of connection problems, and also my own internet connections to the net... the only thing that wasn't affected by the connection was my MSN. I guess chat programmes like MSN, YIM, ICQ, Skype aren't affected, unless you went and d/s your connection. That's another story.

Shortest ICQ list I figured.. with only 1 contact. LOL! I stand corrected. Some just get an acc for the games, so I've heard. So far so good... Short chat time, gotta make the best use of it, instead of spending time trying to d/c and re-connect again and again. And staying connected is really impt, esp when there are factors working against that~

Honestly, I don't have a good impression on ICQ, since the news of ppl getting cheated online always involved ICQ. On one hand, cos they're really naive and stupid -.-lll. =X Also, I thought it was more of group chat than individuals. Apparently it changed, sorta kinda.

My intenet connection is driving me nuts! Hopefully it doesn't d/c me for no reason on ICQ or MSN......... Will screw up alot of my chats (personal and for school purposes).

My life on earth

2009-08-19T10:18:00.004+08:00

My life on Earth,

It's not so long, yet it isn't short.

It's filled with all emotions,

All reflections and thoughts.

My life on Earth, keeps me involved,

Not a day passed with dread.

I'm really glad my life on Earth,

It's still ongoing not the end.

21 is a magic number,

Some say it's like the key.

The key to all the freedom,

The key to be just me.

But I'm here to disagree,

Cos freedom is everywhere.

As long as you have self-discipline,

There's plenty of freedom to spare.

My life on Earth,

It's not so long, yet it is not short.

If you ask, "Are you ready to face it all?"

I'll say, "BRING IT ON!"

~End~

By: Janice ;)

Hahaha... I'm just being really silly typing a poem about my life when I'm now 21. Birthday's coming up, not gonna have like grand celebrations and all or theme parties. Just a simple outing with Miki, Hui and Val for 1 entire day, a celebratory dinner with my family. That's enough. Not to mention an enire night with Mac. =D

To me 21 is just like any other birthday, just that now you're entitled to watch R-21 movies, you get to get married or something. LOL! Besides that, nothing really much changed... Still have

freedom, probably more now, but I don't see the difference at all.

It is a magic number, like I've said in the poem above. Cos technically speaking it's the age where people stepped into "Adulthood", like officially.

Hope you guys like te poem. More to come when inspired! ;)

something about love.

2009-08-17T23:01:00.003+08:00

"Love is something to be experienced, and cannot be defined".

I stumbled upon this statement while doing a facebook quiz. After a few moment of thoughts I find that it is really so.

When I wrote my song lyrics (love songs), they were based on my concept and idea of love, imagination, thoughts, fantasy etc. But when I'm really in love, I can't put them down into words, to be exact, love song lyrics.

I know how I feel, I know how love feels, I know what it's like to be in love... but somehow it's hard to write out song lyrics right now. Hahaha, pretty hilarious, but it reflected the above statement - It can't be defined, because there is no one righ definition. And also because, well, I dunno, it's hard to put into words. Yet, when I listen to other various love songs, I can relate to the feelings.

I think everyone can relate to the feeling when listening to a piece of love song. =)

Love is a strange thing, but I'm glad it happened to me, regardless how weird or strange it is or how terrible it made me feel. Still, keep the ache coming, because within the aching, there's LOVE.

Thai Madness

2009-08-15T12:25:00.002+08:00

Certainly fun and enjoyable when meeting up as J2SK =D Thai food... yummy! The nicest dish was actually the kang kong, which I'm surprised I even ate it, cos I'm not really into spicy food. But the kang kong there was soooo nice. And somehow or rather, I got "trained" to handle spicy better now. HAHAHAHAHA XD

We actually spent like a few hours at Lerk Thai, from 7 to 10. WOOSH! Time just flied by. Stories, jokes, stories, more stories from work and school (work from them, school from me). It was like an 'update dinner' or something. Really fun~

Not that much picture moments, mainly the food, cos we're more concerned with catching up on events than catching ourselves on film ;) Quite funny, how we dressed... It was like pre-planned, but it wasn't. We all had white, black and gray on ourselves LOL! Hahahahahahhaha.

Amazing to meet up with Sharon, Karine and Hannie again after all these months, since our graduation! =O Gotta do it again, when we have the time to coordinate once more :D

School reopens

2009-08-11T19:26:00.003+08:00

School reopens... It was nice to learn together with Group A & B. BUT, the module was a combi of 2 of my least fav subjects: Geography and Science. Hahahhaa, barely made it for the 6hrs (excluding a 1hr break). But I can't sleep... Once i sleep, I'm so DEAD! =.=lll Hahahahahhaa....

On one hand, I'm complaining to someone, and the other hand, I'm comforting that someone too. Interesting, and I love it! Hehe =D

*hugs* to my fellow coursemates. Let's get through these 8 weeks, like how we did for the 1st 6 weeks of intensive! :)

Chiffon Cake

2009-08-09T23:18:00.002+08:00

National Day... Nation's Birthday.. What's the best present than cake? And did I mention that it's 2 cakes? Hahahaha! =D

Mom's been wanting to bake Chiffon Cake since like a few days ago. Finally got the chance to do so today. Well... I hogged her stuff :p Can't help it, lol. Baked it along-side with Mom, which was really fun, while listening to my mp3 (blocking a certain 'noise' out). Really helps.

Started with Orange. Then sis suggested chocolate. So went to get the recipe, and baked another cake (this time Chocolate). Both were nice, but I preferred the Orange one =) Gonna bring some to school on Tues...

And I skipped the whole National Day Parada, and spent it with Mac. Very wise decision. Lol...... Almost missed the pledge, but STILL managed to recite it. Sad to say not at exactly 8.22pm, but at least I remembered...

Gonna bake another Orange Chiffon cake tml, for my 3rd aunt. One of my cousins is sick, so can't take chocolate. Besides, I really do prefer the orange one, so baking that for them, I don't mind at all. BUT, I think I'm gonna stay away from making chiffon cake for awhile :p

National Day '09

2009-08-09T14:09:00.003+08:00

Happy 44th Birthday Singapore! =D

Nation-wide Pledge taking at 8.22pm..... Hm, pretty weird timing. I wonder why must it be at 8.22pm?

Is it because 44 years ago that was the time when Singapore actually became officially independent?

Is it because of fengshui?

Or because it's easy to remember when it's a weird timing?

Hahaha, I can' figure this out... Anyway, I guess I'll be one of those that will take the pledge. But I suppose there are quite a few glitches in this whole thing... What if you're unavailable at that point of time? Say.... Watching a movie? Shopping in a shopping district? In the bathroom? =X

Hm....

Still, it's our Nation's birthday. I think this is a particular time where ppl keep playing the National Day Songs over and over again :p Still prefer the old ones, till now I can still sing along, which is prett amazing at how much those songs are lodged in my heart and my mind =)

Package to germany

2009-08-07T20:53:00.003+08:00

Oh my gosh, I don't know how to react when my dad came home and said, "Hey, what did you send overseas? It got returned back to you!" 1st reaction: Rush to see if my ears were playing tricks on me. And then... Saw my package to Germany sitting on my study desk!

Right there and then I felt tears in my eyes and started giggling and laughing... This reaction completely shocked me to my core. The laughing, I expected it. The tears, not so much. I checked the stickers and --> "no reclamé" Oh gosh! Hahahahahahha~

Was really glad that this package really toured the half of Earth: From Singapore to Germany and back to Singapore. At least it reached there and wasn't lost in transaction or whatever... But I was really sad cos' he didn't receive it afterall and I'm right here enjoying the goodies he packed for me =(

Emotions can be very interesting. I did not expect myself to react like this... All I know is I'm gonna try it again, and this time, MAKE SURE he gets it... Well, he doesn't have the luck to taste the goodies I packed, lucky for my students ;)

Cute and Silly, hehehe. Never fail to make me laugh! :D
Too cute and silly to not love him ;)

Sushi Tei

2009-08-05T18:32:00.002+08:00

Sushi Tei was alright.. but somehow I still like Sakae Sushi. Took photos of the food more than people :p And if they were on people, mainly XT and Yvonne, since they're sitting directly in front of me :p

Made a video (reminded me of an earlier conversations I had with him regarding I should make vids since I took so many photos)... It was really fun. Main leads: Xing Ting and Yvonne, but I also included shots of the rest: Grace, Zi Qi and Eve, plus myself. Hahahahaha =D Was really funny, we're being silly and we had a great time just laughing like crazy~ :P

Finished my new book 'Girl Missing' and the story was really great... It was what that started Tess Gerritsen's mystery/thriller writing genre. This book was her first mystery/thriller and it was great. Of course, the rest that followed were as great as this one: The Surgeon, The Apprentice, The Sinner, Body Double, Vanish, The Mephisto Club, The Bone Garden, Keeping the Dead.
Yep, I have her whole collection ;)

Finally ordered Louis' newest CD: Solo Piano for Peace... It sure took a long time. Too bad his CDs aren't in store, if not I would wait till I get to Boston next year to purchase it. =)

Picnic + Shopping

2009-08-04T15:30:00.003+08:00

Our picnic plan that turned shopping-focused.. HAHAHHA =D

It was really fun, but we spent like only 1hr to picnic (EXCLUDING photo taking). That would be around 1+ hrs if that's the case. Then it was more shopping focused.. I think we walked all over Orchard...... Ion, Central, Borders, Cineleisure, Taka... HAHA! Left Lucky Plaza :p

It was just as tiring as studying for the whole day. -.- Carried around the mat all over Orchard. Nothing wrong.. I think I pulled a muscle or something on my right arm (bicep area). Can hardly lift up my arm over my head without it hurting .... SHEESH! No muscle ache though, hehehe, despite the fact that we walked alot. Knees didn't hurt, but ankles did. Slippers aren't used for walking, so it seems.

Suddenly became my friends' target for dress shopping. I can't even remember how that conversation came about that led to the fact that they wanna get dress for my b-day. LOL! Hahahahahaha... Gotta admit, it was kinda fun, but also weird, cos dresses aren't my kind of style.

Day 1 of our break ended.. And day 2 is just abt beginning. Sushi Tei. Phew! Expensive!!!!!!!! *sniff* there goes my money... But I reckon, if we don't enjoy now, once the extension starts, it'll be equally intensive as how the past 6 weeks had been for all of us.

PHOTO-UP TIME! Say Cheese~ XD

boredom

2009-08-02T21:34:00.002+08:00

Boredom...Driving us nuts.. I'm not the only one.

Usually we have tons of assignments to do, and then suddenly once it's over.. we're left with nothing much to do. And it's a little uncomfortable.

Good thing the whole week of break is packed with events... Picnic, Sushi, Picnic, Cycling, Airport.. Phew =) Enjoy while it lasts.

People are so funny.. When it's really busy and then it suddenly stops, we complain abt being bored. Once it's back to being busy, we'll start complaining about missing the boring days. HAHAHAHA! =D I guess there's no pleasing people. Period. :p

finally a day with grams

2009-08-01T21:10:00.002+08:00

After Wheelock intensive, I finally found the time to spend with my beloved grams... =) Not at her house, but at my 2nd aunt's house, along with my 1st aunt. So... Not too bad.. I get to see them. Didn't manage to do roast chicken cos of the change in venue.

Tried playing tgt with the adults, ya know, like just make them happy. Still fine.. But I wish I could go home..cos it's so lonely there... Suddenly missed him more than ever. Of cos there's my cousin and sis, but that's different... Haiz, complicated.
"Spike, return him to me!" :p Hahahaha, I'm gg crazy talking to a far away cat. LOL!

Despite all that, I do enjoy hugging my grams and seeing her after 6weeks... WHEW! So tired, and left eye itched and washing didn't help :( Sheesh~

Last day with Felicity

2009-07-31T23:27:00.003+08:00

Last day of school, and spent it with Felicity... The entire day since morning! 9-5: At school. After school it's Airport. :P

It was really fun to see Felicity off, and it's our first time to see her in casual clothes. I felt like papparizzi, snapping photos of Felicity. And I was so proud to be the one that gave her our own made scrapbook (from the class). They were asking me to give and I was like, "Wait, until she's at the glass door at departure hall." Hahahahaha, I know, very typical, but it's so touching, to give her our blessings just when she's abt to step over the threshold :) Am glad that everyone who wanna see Felicity off got there on time for a big group snapshot =)

I really was very anxious in class... Making sure that everyone had their turn to write in that book so we could give her on the day she leaves. But thankfully all's well that ends well. =D Yet another one to come, Susan's fly-off on Thurs. Looking forward to it...

1 week of break was booked solid for outings and fun, all that is left is Friday. LOL! Hahahahahahhahaha, I think I'm going crazy over the way I enjoy time. In case I don't get anymore time off once extension starts. :p

Dramatization

2009-07-31T23:20:00.002+08:00

Dramatization was amazing! =D We totally Wow-ed the kids and the kids totally Wow-ed us with their participation and answer! It was really enjoyable and full of laughter. And that day was the last day with Susan... besides her airport day (Coming Thurs).

Finally we managed to put what we had learnt for the past 6 weeks into use and really put up a great show (All 6 groups)! =D We've learnt alot from Susan, and we have alot of crazy moments. And I do agree that we've grown more dramatic.. like easier to express ourselves, and also got closer with the rest of the class (A+B).

Love Susan's lessons, and time seemed to fly past so quickly. I think it's safe to say we all wish that we could have more time with Susan to learn from her and have fun with her. =)

Specially for Cohort 3: Contact me if you want Susan's flight info, so you can see her off too! =)

Last week of Wheelock Intensive

2009-07-27T22:26:00.003+08:00

Can't believe I got through the intensive..well, almost got through. =p It was really exhausting and draining, physically and mentally. It totally toppled my NP study schedules~ After such a long and intensive race, FINALLY we see the finish line.

But truth be told, I'm gonna miss my lecturers.. Susan and Felicity were both awesome, and their lessons were always full of fun and engagement and enjoyment. Though it was a change in the way we usually learn, and it was quite tedious on our part, but overall I find that I enjoy this kind of learning more than the usual ways of spoon-feeding or whatsoever... Because through Susan and Felicity's method, we can REALLY gauge our knowledge and understanding. Y? Cos through their assignments and stuffs we KNOW if we understand or we don't, cos application is needed. =D

Thruday night date.. Have to change date, cos of Airport - Sending Felicity off. Good thing Mac understands :D *blessed*

Last few days... Cohort 3 is still hanging on and still having fun! GREAT! =D

=.=lll Just when I stayed back after school for proj, then wanted to go to Popular to get printing papers... Guess what? THE SHOP WAS CLOSED by the time I reached there. SHEESH!!!!!! >.<
I could have just taken the bus home and reached home even earlier~

Women and Alcohol

2009-07-21T10:25:00.003+08:00

A video showed in class...about women being alcoholic. Dont drink too much people, especially women.

The video was disturbing and sad...the consequences of abusing alcohol, different stories told by readers from Readers Theatre. It goes for guys as well.. Too much alcohol isn't good - be it beer or wine or shots. Occasionally I find it okay, but still keep it at a minimum even on occasions. Gotta know your limits, especially women. Seriously.

The video made me think deep about touching alcohol~

Personally I was raised in the thoughts that "women should know how to drink a little, so you won't get drunk that easily if you were to drink with your friends. And don't go drinking with your friends, only drink with your family."

I find it all comes down to the person himself or herself to stop when you know you had hit your limit - before headaches or unsteady footsteps or vomitting. If not, you'll get one heck of a hangover~

Wheelock Symposium

2009-07-16T22:32:00.002+08:00

It was really engaging, to say the least... The feeling of standing beside your own work and presenting it to others, and be able to answer any questions asked by the people... Whew~ What a feeling! Beyond words. :p The talk after the exhibition was great too, alot of thought provoking questions for us to think about and reflect upon... I think we did reach our goal for the symposium: share and learn. =)

Entire day with heels... hahaha, I didn't think I could get through one full day in heels. It wasn't that bad when it comes to the walking, as long as I reduce my speed a little. Then came the running =.=lll One day when I don't wear my sports shoes, I have to run from one building to another as fast as possible...... Now I can say that "I can run in heels!" :p Hahaha

It was great seeing Joanne and JiaMin again :) Chatted with them and everything, it was really nice. :) And also LSH staffs.... =)

Was smashed and feet hurt like hell, and received an sms from my sis abt a mysterious package for me... =D
Hahaha, I don't feel like wearing heels for a very long time, lol!